Laima is one of the new friends I have made during my time of cancer. We have gotten to know each other virtually through a mutual friend. 10 years ago, she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma and also underwent chemotherapy (with a very different regimen from Non-Hodgkin's) and Radiotherapy. She managed to defeat cancer, thus is a cancer survivor and is now living her life to the fullest. She has been extremely supportive in helping me give tips and advice while I was dealing with chemo. I also believe that it is important to gain different perspectives and read different accounts because every individual has their unique story. It is crucial for every voice to be heard. Laima has provided me with some good advice which have really helped me get by. That is why I have decided to invite her to share her thoughts and perspectives by asking her a couple of questions.
Me: Tell me about yourself.
Laima: This is always the hardest question to answer! On this blog probably the most appropriate way to start is by saying that I am a Hodgkin’s lymphoma survivor. Exactly 10 years ago I was happy to find out I completely got rid of it! Now I am a bit over 30 (woman never tells her age), happily enjoying my life in Vilnius, the city I was born in. I am a layer but almost 9 months ago I left my old job and starting doing something new. Currently I consult one of the ministries of Lithuania, work for a kinesiotherapy clinic and help with a linen goods brand. Who knows where life will bring me next? I am a devout catholic, playing gospel music with bass guitar. So, I think I could call myself a musician too. Well, I do love the rhythm, especially the one I can dance too (lindy hop or balboa preferred). I am a curious mind, always happy to learn something new. And I talk much, as you will see below
(Photo Credits: Mantas Repečka)
Me: How did you come to find out about your diagnosis?
Laima: Sometime in the Autumn of 2009 together with most of the members of a gospel choir we got flu (well, we attended a huge gospel festival, it was a natural outcome, I suppose). But after that I noticed that one of my lymph-nodes was swollen. My doctor speculated it’s just inflammation after the flu and prescribed me antibiotics. With those finished and not getting better, I finally got sent to a hematologist. Of course, I was not on a hurry – I had so much to do! I was finishing my master thesis, attended an international moot court, doing kind of an internship, etc. But I was lucky to have a friend who kicked my … to finally go to the specialist to do the tests. Being a medical student at that time, she was with me the whole way and was actually a first person to tell me it might be Hodgkin’s. Now I am happy to have her as my hematologist!
Me: What surprised you the most throughout the chemo experience?
Laima: I am not sure if there was anything that really surprised me in a bad way. I knew it is going to be very hard for me – I always had a difficult relationship with nausea (I HATE it). What helped me is knowing that it is not going to be for long. In my case – 4 courses of chemo (and some radiotherapy). Maybe what I did not expect was how hard mentally is the process of starting losing your hair! My suggestion for anyone about to have chemo, CUT your hair very short as soon as possible. And when you just start to see them falling off, shave! It will spare you a psychological shock – it is way worse than puking. Surprises at that period were more of a good type: new friends, courage to do things that are truly important or to talk openly about hardships and illness, etc. Though I have to be honest, I did not expect it is going to be difficult to get back to life and get rid of that fright every time I do blood tests or do a regular check-up. But it seems this fear in some form is going to stay with me for a while.
Me: What reflections have you made during cancer treatment ?
Laima: So many things, it is hard to decide where to start. Sadly, some of the things you learn, wade a bit when you get stuck in an ordinary routine again. If to mention the biggest lessons, is that you need to always put things in perspective, measure what is really important and take care of yourself. I believe you can put everything in one phrase – do not be afraid of living. Breathe with your whole lungs and live, not let your life float by. Oh, and it taught me how to talk with people who are sick and how important is to not be afraid of talking about the disease or the difficulties. You never know when a friend or someone around you will face this illness in some form. And at that time, he/she will know at least where to turn for advice or support. Or maybe he will finally go to that check-up he/she postpones…
"I believe you can put everything in one phrase – do not be afraid of living. Breathe with your whole lungs and live, not let your life float by."
Me: If you can give one advice to someone currently going through cancer at the moment, what would it be?
Laima: Do not stay alone with your illness! One of the mistakes I made was not having a psychologist or psychotherapist in the process. Yes, religion did help a bit. But during a such illness you need to take care of all of the three aspects of yourself – body, soul and mind. If you do not have an opportunity to see a specialist, at least find a friend you can talk too or a support team in NGO’s working with oncology patients. Believe me, it is important. It took me two or three years to just start fixing relationships with others and even with myself. And it really helps to understand the anxiety or fears you can feel afterward. Oh, and remind your relatives, especially those who take care of you, to take care of themselves. There are a lot of support groups for relatives too. Just do not stay alone with your pain and fears. It is easy to get lost in those. Life is worth fighting for and it is easier with some help.
Photo Credits (right photo): Jurgita Kunigiškytė Photography
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