On 22nd of December 2020, I was hospitalized to start my first salvage chemo, which is known as R-DHAP. It is the first round of chemo after the completion of my first line of treamtent (6 chemo cycles of R-CHOP). It was the first time that I experienced a hospital stay for a longer duration. As mentioned in: My Story (Part II): Revenge of the Lymphoma post, my cancer came back so I was forced to go through a second line of treatment. These were more intense chemos which required hospital stays. These salvage chemos are then followed by stem cell transplant and radiotherapy to ensure long term remission. Never have I ever imaged in a million years that I would end up in the hospital.
The R-DHAP chemo regimen consisted of Rituximab (also used during my R-CHOP regimen) along with Platin (one of the most nausea inducing drugs ever), Cytarabine and Dexamethasone. This entire chemotherapy lasted over a course of 4 days.
This was the first time I was hospitalized and I am not gonna lie- I was so afraid, terrified and sad. I remember waking up the next morning bursting into tears and telling the nurses that I felt so hopeless in my life. At that time, I really couldn't fathom that not only did I have to deal with cancer for the second time, but that all of this happened during Christmas time. There is never a good time for cancer but it felt very isolating to be spending Christmas in the hospital without my family by my side. Visitors weren't allowed due to covid. Wherever I went, I could hear, see and smell death. I was supposed to be home with my family, celebrating Christmas. It was supposed to be a great end to 2020 with hopes of a new beginning in 2021. I was excited to enter the new year cancer-free but things just took an unfortunate plot twist. Life can be so cruel. It made so angry, upset and resentful. Like why was this happening to me? ! What did I do to deserve this?
But what I have come to appreciate about this hospital is the level of care and compassion from the medical staff. As soon as they saw that was in distress, they arranged a nice foot massage session and set me up with a therapist. I felt very safe. And let me tell you, once you stay in the hospital for a while, you start becoming good friends with nurses and doctors.
I can definitely say that this chemo regimen was much harder than R-CHOP. I would still say that my first round of R-CHOP is still by far the hardest one as I literally ticked off every single possible side effects that a chemo patient can expect to experience. With R-DHAP, I experienced similar side effects but the nausea is definitely stronger. I was given medication to manage the nausea but they weren't as effective as my previous rounds. I didn't vomit or anything but it took me a longer time to recover. I struggled to eat so I relied on a lot of protein shakes. It was so hard to force feed yourself to even drink water or shakes. I hated it. I practically spent one week lying in bed or in the couch because I couldn't do anything without feeling sick. I struggled to walk to the bathroom. I needed to rely on my parents to walk to the toilet because of dizziness. I had poor blood circulation which also explains the dizzy spells. This also led me to have heavy nosebleeds for a duration of half an hour.
So it wasn't a pleasant chemo and the recovery period definitely took longer than R-CHOP. I would rate my overall experience as a 3.5/10.
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