People have asked me what I usually do to occupy myself in between my treatments. Depending on the type of treatment plan, it can lead to very different outcomes when it comes to side effects and recovery. Some of us have chemo 4-5 days in a row on a two week interval; whereas some of us may have it two days in a row on a four week interval. For some of us, we make quick recoveries, which leaves room to figure out how to kill time and boredom. Boredom can be mentally draining; but I'd also like to think that boredom may be a good sign. I mean if you are in excruciating pain, you won't have time to feel bored.
I went on sick leave at the end of July 2020, meaning my work life was on hold. In fact, I even tried to convince my colleagues and boss of the possibility to do a bit of work in between treatments due to the fear of boredom. I wanted to occupy myself so that some form of routine gives me a sense of direction. Without a sense of direction, I felt that I lacked purpose. I had to accept the fact that my life was put on pause from the usual activities that I did. Instead of working, I had to sit back, reflect and figure out how I can adjust the sails to my "new normal". At first, I didn't have any problems coping with that. I enjoyed the fact that I had more time to catch up on Netflix. After the third round, I felt like I was on the verge of going insane. I was so bored of watching Netflix all day; so bored of being trapped at home; so bored of being restricted ...I felt suffocated. It didn't help the fact that my place is super tiny and this made me feel extremely claustrophobic. I knew that I had to come up with some daily schedule to incorporate into my new life.
On average, it took me 10 days to recover after every chemo round and I didn't rely on any routine during that period. These days were meant for resting, napping and Netflixing. It is important not to be hard on yourself if you are not productive. You cannot compare yourself to your pre-cancer self. You are in a survival mode battling cancer on a cellular level. Priorities have shifted. Handling an adversity like cancer is in fact a FULL TIME JOB. So don't feel guilty that you are missing out by not working, meeting up with friends, traveling or pursuing other forms of leisures that you were used to doing. These things can wait. Your number one priority is to listen to your body and focus on recovery. If you are feeling extremely tired and sleepy, DON'T FIGHT IT! Go to bed please! If you are feeling hungry, eat!!!! If you have difficulty concentrating while reading a book, STOP and take a break. Do something else.
"Handling an adversity like cancer is in fact a FULL TIME JOB . "
Anyways, once I felt much better, I came up with the following routine clustered into mornings, afternoons and evenings.
Mornings:
My day starts off with breakfast and checking that I have taken the right medications. Afterwards, I will take a power nap so that I can recharge and be set for the day. I'd like to take a power nap of 20-40 minutes. Once I am up, I spend some time doing a bit of reading and journaling. I would use the time to reflect on two questions: 1. What is the best thing that has happened to me today. 2. What have I done today which has exceeded my expectations? I would encourage you all to give this a try and once you read back what you have written, it is cool to see how far you have come. You can even write down the side effects you are dealing with each day. You would be surprised to see how much things evolve. Sometimes I would also jot down some affirmations that serve as a motivation or an encouragement for me. I would then use the remaining of my morning to either work on my Youtube Channel or work on my blog. In fact, the idea of starting this current blog was initially due to boredom and I wanted to do try something new and different. I have never built a website before. Through this experience, I have gained skills of webpage design and creativity. Writing the blog has been a reflective and therapeutic experience. It helps me to process everything while showcasing others on what it's like to live with cancer. I was also gifted with a coloring book and it is definitely a relaxing way to shift your mind away from the reality. Occasionally, I also try to read some books. Of course there are many other things that you can do like knitting, painting, gaming or puzzle building (just to name a few). We are living in a fast paced world, where we have such limited time to do stuff outside of work, including daily errands. Try out a new recipe! Rearrange or redecorate your home! Reorganize your place! Create a photo collage of things that bring you joy and peace! It is entirely up to you on how much capacity you have to do these things.
Afternoons:
My afternoons are reserved for physical recreation and sports. I find it important to do some form of exercise in order to keep my body strong during times of chemo. I have heard that strengthening your body leads to resilience, including minimal side effects. I would do anything to reduce the yucky chemo side effects. Of course, I am not saying you should go out and train for a marathon. However, having some form of physical movement to keep your blood flowing is definitely beneficial for your health. You can try going out for daily afternoon walks with your loved one. Get some fresh air. Take the chance to spend some quality time with your loved one. As I am a fitness freak, I regularly follow pilates workouts and when I am really feeling up for it, I will try out some Zumba/ dance workouts. Listen to your body and know your limits. Be kind to yourself.
Evenings:
This means couch time! A time to catch up with friends over Skype, Whatsapp or Messenger. Chemo causes our bodies to be immunocompromised so we have to shelter ourselves from the rest of the world. This makes it harder to have social interactions in real life so we spend the majority of our time staying connected online. By talking to your friends, you will feel less alone and gain emotional support. Evenings can also be a movie night! Perfect time to choose a binge worthy TV series. If you are interested in some good movies and shows, shoot me a message.
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