When I was first told that hair loss was inevitable during my chemo treatment, I was devastated yet still in denial. I loved my hair and it was something I took great pride in. Everyone has a different relationship with their body. My body is where I get most of my confidence from. It's how I choose to define myself. And the fact that I have to lose my hair, a part of my body, feels like I am giving up a part of myself in order to stay alive. My hair was and still is my everything. I was convinced that I would be an exceptional case where hair loss would not occur. I was hoping that my body could prove itself wrong. There was just no way that this was supposed to happen to me.
A week after my first round of chemo, my hair started to become dry and brittle. It was so matted that it eventually turned into large clumps that even brushing it wouldn't make a difference. It only fell off instead. I found hair wherever I went. There was hair on my pillow, in my brush, in the shower and on my clothes. I couldn't believe this was becoming my reality. It was just so traumatising. Hair loss is every girl's nightmare when going through chemo. I was victimized.
I did what I had to do. Not only did I shave off the remaining bits of my hair but I purchased my first wig. My first wig was very similar to my natural hair before cancer. Initially, I only wanted to get this one wig to hide my baldness with the hope that time will pass by as quickly as possible for my real hair to grow back fast. I didn't even think about buying other wigs because at first because I was in denial of the fact that I have to give up my hair. During treatment, I started googling and hashtag searching what my hair would ideally look like in 3 months, 6 months and even a year post chemo treatment. To tell you the truth, it was seriously so sad and discouraging to know that my hair will still be very short. It was heartbreaking to accept that it would take forever for my hair to return to its original length and for me to feel like myself again. It didn't help the fact that I am an impatient person. I didn't like the idea of waiting while feeling bitter when going through awkward hair growth stages. Having that in mind, I wanted to make the most out of it by having fun with different wigs.
Wearing wigs and dressing up gives me a sense of empowerment. It is symbolic really because I feel like I haven't allowed cancer to win. Wearing wigs is the best way to escape from reality that I have cancer. I have been warned that wigs are warm, not ideal and uncomfortable. While there is some value of truth, I do believe it all comes down to doing the right research. For me, wigs are a girl's best friend and it is still so mind-blowing how easy it is to give yourself a makeover within seconds. I ended up having a total of six wigs in blonde, ombre, black, brown, short, long, curly...you name it. You don't need to be bald or have cancer to wear wigs. It turns out that many celebrities also wear wigs to glam out and avoid dying their hair. I really started to have fun with wigs that I wanted to share some of its perks:
Less time to get ready. Wigs come pre-styled so that you don't have to spend so much time washing, blow drying and styling your real hair. You also save lots of money on extra hair products. That is something that I have come to enjoy and appreciate. In fact, some of the wigs look even better than getting your hair done at the hairdresser's.
Less commitment, less regrets. I am often risk averse when it comes to trying out new styles. In my past experience, I always end up regretting dying my hair or getting a new haircut. I will wait while have feelings of longing for my hair to return back to its original color or length. With wigs, you can completely avoid this. You can always switch them up if you miss curls or long straight hair. Change is instant but reversible.
A chance to reinvent your look. Wearing wigs are a great way to see what you look like with different colors and styles. You are experimenting with multiple alter egos and different wigs make a huge difference in your look. It's a chance of getting to know the different parts of you while reinventing yourself.
Sense of normality.
Wigs are a powerful way to help you blend in and boost your self-confidence. It spares the psychological trauma and shock. It also spares any unwanted conversations, unwanted questions, stares and pity looks. It is a good coping mechanism to gain a sense of normality and escape from current reality you are in.
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